GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING by Tim Bete
In Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers! Cap’n Billy answers difficult parenting questions, such as:
* At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye socket?
* Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie?
* How do you prevent sogging the quartermaster?
* What is the best place to maroon your disobedient child?
* How do you remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child’s hair?
* What’s the difference between “plundering” and “pillaging?”
* How do you convert your minivan into a pirate schooner?
* When should you smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar?
Each information-packed section ends with “Your pirate’s progress,” a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones.